


Programmed For It

by Missy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Advice, Cuddling & Snuggling, Friends to Lovers, Gay Robots, Humor, M/M, Matchmaking, Post-Canon, Post-RotJ, Relationship Advice, Robot Feels, Robot/Human Relationships, Robots, Romance, robots in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 00:25:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15107903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: Threepio has never been in love before.  But Lando has, many times over.Naturally, all he wants to do is help him impress Artoo.At first...





	Programmed For It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ciliegio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ciliegio/gifts).



The droid patted Lando on the shoulder just as he’d finished the last of his spicy pine-flavored brew – he had no idea exactly what was in it, but it had settled comfortably in his stomach until the droid had begun anxiously poking at him. Lando set down the pewtard tankard carefully and turned with a charming smile toward C-3pO. 

“Master Lando, I might I trouble you for a bit of advice?”

“Of course,” Lando replied. He wasn’t used to being spoken to by the robots; Han’s opinion that they were hard to convince to take orders wasn’t his, but he considered them more Luke’s affair than anything Temporarily nestled on Endor as they were, there was more time to think about what the Rebellion’s next move was going to be. Everyone was busy, caught up in the heat of the celebration and also their own emotional affairs. Leia was in full leader mode and Han hovered around her trying to take her orders, for the first time in his life. Luke was thoughtful but distant. Lando just tried to keep everyone smiling while trying to figure out if Ewoks liked to gamble.

Once they were alone, standing on the rope bridgeway that was strung between the treehouses where they were staying for the unforknowable future, the Droid seemed to hesitate. So Lando began his line of questioning. “Threepio, my good man,” he gave the Droid an awkward smile and patted him on the back, just for a little friendly revenge. “What’s going on?”

Threepio sputtered to life. “Well, I know you’re experienced in situations involving romantic love…”

“I don’t know who’s been talking about me behind my back,” he smiled, “but I’d like to shake their hand. Yes, I suppose you could say that about me.”

“Well,” said Threepio, “the forced proximity between Artoo and I have caused feelings to build within my processors. Special feelings that I’ve never felt for another being before. Not the friendship I feel for Master Luke or the brotherhood I feel toward the Princess, but…”

“Ahh,” Lando said. “So you think you’re in love with him?”

The very idea made Threepio gyrate in discomfort. “Oh dear. This is beyond my experience.” 

“Stay cool,” Lando suggested. “Getting tensed up about it won’t help cool your circuits down. You’ll just make yourself even more upset with this worrying.”

“But what should I do?” he asked.

“Well, the easiest thing would be just to tell him,” Lando said, the corner of his mouth quirking upward. “Otherwise he’ll never know how you feel.”

“An excellent point,” said Threepio. “Oh, how I wish things were simpler! We should send messages to one another telepathically. It would involve so much less conflict between our beep codes.”

“Well, you can’t always have what you want,” said Lando. But he was smiling. “Talk to the fella.”

He watched the Droid amble off. “Thank you, Master Lando! I owe you a great deal of courtesy and dignity.”

His heart warmed, just a little, at the droid’s words. “Thank you kindly,” he said, and listened to the celebration below. 

 

 

****

**~~@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~~**

 

 

The droids were arguing lightly in the room next door. 

Lando was surprised to feel a sudden sense of sympathy for the droid; to him they’d always simply been there; he’d never seen them as beings with feelings, drive or emotion before. Well, that was changing in a big hurry. He rolled onto his back and listened to Chewie snore and sighed to himself. Well, he did want Threepio to be happy…

He got out of bed and headed out the door, then peeked into the droids’ quarters.

C-3PO jerkily walked out of the door, fuming, throwing his hands into the air. “Such a stubborn…” He trailed off. “Master Lando, what are you doing up at this hour?”

“The two of you woke me up,” he explained, and before Threepio could exclaim his horror, he said, “don’t worry about it. I would have been awake anyway. I’m a bit wired after what happened today.”

And apparently so was Han, who had disappeared with the Princess hours ago. Lando had to admit he was happy for his old friend, and kind of impressed with his eternal chutzpah.

“I understand. But it seems that Artoo does not understand what the power of love is.” Hands flailed once more, and Lando leaned back so he wouldn’t be smacked in the face. “Oh, dear, how will I ever make him realize that I love him without condition?!”

“If someone doesn’t believe you when you say you love them it can be hard to get through to them,” said Lando. “So maybe it’s time you stopped talking and starting showing instead.”

“Are you suggesting I be forward with him?”

“It’ll get the results you need, guaranteed, every time,” said Lando.

“Well, I shan’t make some sort of pass toward him,” the droid dithered. “I’ll simply ask him to take a moonlight stroll with me! And apologize for nor clarifying my feelings earlier, when it was certain we would both be deprogrammed.”

“That’s the spirit, man,” Lando said. “There’s nothing better than a nice, moonlight night like this. Take him for a roll, show him the moon, tell him all of the things you’d like to do for him when you get him all alone…”

“That’s quite enough!” said Threepio. “I’m sorry for my…bluntness but well. It is rather a lot to think about.” He bowed. “Thank you for your assistance, Master Lando. I’m ever so grateful.”

Lando watched Threepio leave, and made himself scarce when he trundled Artoo out. Threepio pointed out various plants along the pathway, and as they strolled out of sight he suddenly wished he’d offered to go with the two of them. But Lando supposed it was best that they work it out themselves. He’d just be in the way, and there was nothing worse than a third party interference when you were trying to get your groove on.

He’d just go back into the room, listen to Chewbacca snore and play hearts all by himself. 

He did suppose there were worse fates.

 

 

****

**~~@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~~**

 

 

The sky was aflame with fireworks, and Threepio and Artoo were cuddling. Well, cuddling was a relative term when one of the robots lacked a set of arms, but it was quite intimate. Threepio even kissed the Droid right on top of his head, which was surprisingly adorable.

Lando smiled to himself, watching them cavort. There was nothing lovelier than two beings in love. Even if those beings were sentient robots.

Chewbacca kissed his cheek, and then gave him a sharp slap to the back.

Well, some things.


End file.
